Eggwife is a crude, gory, toilet-humour-driven first-person shooter inspired by the likes of Postal 2, Duke Nukem 3D, Goat Simulator, and a general tone of "good enough" during development; an attempt at embracing the jankiness that comes with making your first game. Set in Sheffie, England, you play as 77p egg; a potty-mouthed stick figure briefly mourning the loss of its wife, who finds itself on an epic adventure when a trip to the supermarket to find a new life partner gets a little bit weird. Fight your way through angry hordes of sentient sewage, such as gelatinous blobs of urine, mechanised napalm poo tanks, 4ft long tampon helicopters laced with nails, and many more. There's a milk-worshipping cult too and they're also pretty upset.

10 story levels set in, around, and underneath the city of Sheffie, plus two (currently) endless-wave arena levels, and a handful of not-very-good bonus levels. Blast your enemies with an arsenal of "UK-Legal" weaponry such as the Applicator - a scoped, long-range tampon applicator; the 7-Barrel Sh*tgun; the Crossbowner - a silicone-shootin' crossbow designed for the bedroom; the Stigmatic 77,000 - a high-power, high rate-of-fire nailgun; and many more!!!

Master various bodily functions and fast-paced movement to stay alive!! Strafe-running, unlocked vertical aiming (okay that one isn't crucial at all but feels cool/stupid) and poop-jumping will keep you one step ahead of your foes. Pee on command to put out fires (even ones on yourself!), incapacitate certain enemies, or just draw pretty pictures on walls. Make sure to eat lots of food to keep your poop meter full - you'll need it not only to stock your Sh*tgun, but to double jump too!

Needless amounts of interactivity and detail in parts of the game that really don't matter!!!! Stick a fork in a plug socket and get zapped! Flush toilets! Talk to pedestrians! Ride shopping carts! Take a poop the size of a bus! Six difficulty levels: "flaccid", "Semi", "Hard", "Knotty", "RAGING", and "dysfunction" - the latter of which randomises much of the game's content such as the rotation of level geometry, weapon functionality, movement, and more; making it potentially much easier to complete a level, or perhaps impossible.

Replayability!!! Try a pacifist run where you don't kill anything! Or blow off some steam trying to get a pass-a-fist run where you ensure everything is dead. For a unique and honestly really annoying challenge, attempt a vegan run!! There's also an endless wave-based arena mode with its own arenas, a card-picking system for powerups and powerdowns, and some unique enemy variants!

An original soundtrack by General Mumble, sc.Dave!, ipi, Koa, and more; spanning all sorts of genres from metal to ambient to reggae to... *checks wikipedia...* s-...scrumpy & western. BIG-ASS CLIFFHANGER ENDING that will make you BEG us to do a sequel. Eggwife is a complete, even a bit overwhelming, gaming experience but the saga doesn't end there. Like all the great stories told by humanity - The Old Man and the Sea, Jersey Shore, The Hobbit. and such - it leaves room for the plot to continue and characters to return. Do you have what it takes to help 77p egg find love once again? Just making sure you don't forget that's what this game is about.

• Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
  
• OS: Windows 7
  
• Processor: AMD Ryzen 5 3600
  
• Memory: 4 GB RAM
  
• Graphics: AMD R9 280
  
• DirectX: Version 11
  
• Storage: 4 GB available space

• Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system
  
• OS: Windows 10
  
• Processor: AMD Ryzen 5 3600
  
• Memory: 8 GB RAM
  
• Graphics: NVidia GeForce GTX 1050 Ti
  
• DirectX: Version 11
  
• Storage: 4 GB available space